Torchwood AU. That is potentially crack.

[xiexiegirl]

Honestly, Pete hated dealing with Torchwood Three. Half of it was because every time he saw Jack bloody Harkness, the man insisted that he go on a date with Patrick, Torchwood Five’s secretary. The other half was because, more often than not, Pete walked in on Jack having sex with his secretary, Ian’s Toe or whatever his name was. He was a bit of an odd bloke. Always making coffee. When he wasn’t f*cking Jack, anyway. Bloody Torchwood.

That's the summary. This fic may be my best work yet. At least until the carnival AU is done. :P